I spent my weekend half in the car and half in the hill county of Texas. All the way there I pondered, worried and journeyed ahead. My head was stuck in “am I making a BIG mistake; should I go; but what about my nest: my friends that seriously need me right now, my roots, my voice, my family, my favorite grocery store, the big skies of Texas”. When does my life no longer deserve merit?
On my trip, I saw one of my teachers from high school who now resides in the rocky terrain of central Texas; she’s always a go to person in the midst of my uncertain life. She told me over a salad lunch, “if you’re not totally excited about it, this is not where God is telling you to go, it’s just an option of a place you can go”. Wise, wise, wise….always. And then another trusted voice, my internship supervisor, “maybe the timing isn’t right”…so accurate. The timing definitely isn’t right; I cannot leave my best friend (whose basically a sister) right now. God has placed me in her life for a very special reason and I am listening to Him and being present for her right now.
And after declining FL, my anxiety level was down and I could actually enjoy my trip. I looked at everything good; the farmers in the field, amongst tall crops of corn, the gleaming sun illuminating the clouds, and the back roads of Texas.